Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say “she’s not the one!”
The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing, however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.
The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size..

The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?

The young man said, it’s ok. I only have 3 questions…

The young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.

The young man’s first question was, Who do you love the most in the world, someone who’s love nothing would ever overcome?

She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled second question, he asked, you said that you read a lot of qur’an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?

Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon insha’allah I’ve just been a bit busy.the third question the young man asked, was I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot more prettier than you, why should I marry you?

Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence. And the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an agreement of marriage.

This time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!

The young man said, firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? she said, her mother,

The parents said so, what is wrong with that??

The young man said, “no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his messenger (saw) more than anyone else in the world”

If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet (pbuh) and his progeny more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.

The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of qur’an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah?

And she said no, because I haven’t had time yet. so I thought of that hadith “ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge” She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madrasa (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you?

That is why she stormed off, getting angry. The young man’s parents said that is a horrible thing to say, whywould you do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise. The young man said I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.

The Prophet (saw) said “do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry” when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan.

If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met,do you think she will be able to control it with her husband??

So, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on:
*knowledge, not looks,
*practice, not preaching,
*Forgiveness, not anger,
*spiritual love, not lust.
*and compromise

One should look for a person who
1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw) and his family (a.s)
2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
3) can control their anger
4) and willing to compromise.
And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.
Insha’allah, may Allah make every marriage a success, and let us create Love for Allah and his messenger(saw) and his family (a.s) so that Allah can bless us, and create love in our lives.
There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. – The Prophet of Islam (SAW)


25 Responses to “CHOOSING A WIFE – II”

  1. Hamid SHouqi Says:

    sallam khaliq jan chituri khub asthey jan shum khuba yaar e az baray chiz astha aaaa na na famidum da e zi ?

  2. Nibedita Says:

    Its really beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it.

  3. imran Says:

    it is really a very good story but do u think there are any person on earth is having these 4 qualities?i have a doubt!!!

    • moralsandethics Says:

      Yes of course!! there may be a person with more than thsi qualities too. Its not impossible to have such qualities or else in ISLAM it would have ordered us to beghave in such way. Its our lacking that we ignore such good behaviour and morals due to selfishness…..

  4. ssayma Says:

    Beautiful story and the absolute right way of finding your life partner better that getting married to someone with whom you have no connection with,let alone spiritual connection

  5. ladyboss Says:

    nice read..i will take it as a lesson to more approach Allah

  6. nikhil Says:

    thanks, story bahot hi ashaa tha,is story se muje bahot hi achi shik mili he…

  7. uztaaz Says:

    salam this is a shia website so be waery of this site else they’l lead u to the wrong path.

    • Ali Says:

      If the love of Allah (SWT), the Prophet (PBUHAF) and his family (AS) is the wrong path, then I don’t want to be right according to what you think! We are Muslims, so if you call us Shia, then on the day of judgment, it will be our honor to stand behind the ones we love, and you can stand behind Omar and Yazeed. Also, learn English…what is waery? Do you mean weary? Or are you confused about everything?

    • moralsandethics Says:

      Thats the normal kind of reply which is always given by Anti-shia ulema’s. As they can’t reply to shia’s question they will always say to be away from them . lol.

  8. islamicnet Says:

    Beautiful story and the absolute right way of finding your life partner better that getting married to someone with whom you have no connection with,let alone spiritual connection

  9. moralsandethics Says:

    Dear brother if you need to research then why only sunni sites??. Shia’ism is from very old age of Islamic history. Many tradtion have mentioned in which shia was used. You can read many history books from,

    Infact there are many tradition in sunni books which support majority of the Shia’s belief. read this

  10. Bibi Says:

    Very nice, I’m gonna ask the person I marry those questions too…well,maybe!

  11. Fazal Says:

    Fantastic story ……………………….. Infact the lesson of life hidden in this story………………………. Because a nice wife makes the house heaven………….

  12. Nzee Says:

    I am married and alhamdulillah have the above mentioned qualities.respect for ur spouse is the most important thing too, then forgiveness, kindness and compromise.

  13. cowboys and aliens Says:

    Hey there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading through your articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same topics? Thank you so much!

  14. Elvera Madyun Says:

    I’m impressed, I need to say. Actually rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is excellent; the problem is one thing that not sufficient persons are speaking intelligently about. I am very joyful that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for one thing regarding this.

  15. mandira Says:

    salam everyone esp. to the owner of this blog…im a blog-reader and i love every articles written in this site.every article written is a an eye opener,an awakening.i just have this question and inshallah you could help me or somebody can enlighten my mind with this…i met a guy, he’s practicing christian religion and i am a muslim woman. his mom is a muslim too..we love each other but you know as a muslim i dont want to trade my religion for this glittering world.i ask him if he would embrace my religion i will fight for him but if not i can afford to lose him.i always told him that i will not trade my religion for anything else.i told him i m just a passer in this glittering world,my concern is in the hereafter.he answered me that he will embrace my religion,and am willing to help him.i told him dont embrace just for the sake of me or for us to be together.if you want to embrace my religion embrace it in in Allah’s cause…am i allowed to marry a revert muslim guy?pls help!thanks a lot

  16. Waj Says:

    Good story but i do have some questions in mind.iS this right what the guy did, to go to hundreds of girls houses and rejecting each one of them saying they are not good Muslims!!???Cant the guy just realize this that nobody in this world is perfect.He could have married to a girl who is religious and not short tempered,if she’s lacking in some aspects cant he just show her the right way and help her become a good Muslim?What about people showing hypocrisy just to get good proposals and later turning to one modern person when they go for honeymoon.I have seen people wearing scarfs and abbayas all the time but as soon they leave the country,get married to a nice guy they comes to wear western clothes just because they have to! Love for Allah and fear lies in your heart!!How about people not spreading love amongst their family,relatives,neighbours and just keep distant.This is a complex subject so one shouldnt judge it from one aspect only.

  17. Summaya Says:


    Nice story inshaallah all the Muslim Ummah will act upon this 🙂 x

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  19. Wendolyn Latten Says:

    best yet Here’s some thing to make you smile: Thought for the day? : Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

  20. Luxury Bali Villas Says:


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  21. Jacquetta Olowe Says:

    Great post, I believe blog owners should learn a lot from this weblog its real user pleasant. So much wonderful info on here :D.

  22. Yasinshaik Says:

    The story that i read is very interesting and i want to make use of these stories

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